"It's something that only dysfunctional children of drug addicts gravitate toward?" "I will need to investigate this BDSM," the alien murmurs. Under the flashing lights of the theater marquee, as your fellow filmgoers flood outside, you begin laughing about riding crops and peacock feathers. It's in on a lot of the joke, but not in a cynical way." And she clearly has a sense of humor, which makes less of the film itself outright mockable. "She conveys lust in a very relatable way.
#IF YOU LIKED FIFTY SHADES OF GREY YOU LL LIKE MOVIE#
"She is not the audience surrogate this movie deserved, but the one it needed," says the alien, who must have Google searched for Batman quotes while she was in the bathroom. "Dakota Johnson deserves some kind of medal for that performance." It's more important that Anastasia register as human, because ultimately we experience her attraction to him through her, not him." But that's not really the point, is it?" asks the alien. "Jamie Dornan was a little leaden," you agree. "I mean, I didn't have much use for that Christian Grey - what a creep - Anastasia deserves better!" You nod, just to shut her up, as the opening credits roll.Īs you leave the theater, the alien is naturally giddy, having just seen her first movie. The alien smiles as if she's got the hang of this, "But all movies are Twilight movies, when it comes down to it."
![if you liked fifty shades of grey you ll like if you liked fifty shades of grey you ll like](https://moodswag.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Movies-Like-Fifty-Shades-of-Grey1.jpg)
"So this is not a Twilight movie," she asks as the lights go down, just to be certain. Then you and the alien hit the movie theater. "Well," you finally say, hedging a bit, "all pretend-words are sort of based on each other, in some way or another." "How do you know that this Hunger Games is not based on Twilight?" The alien narrows her large, obsidian eyes suspiciously. "No, there are lots of stories that are not based on Twilight. "No, but I suppose it is more inviting and easy to read and write something that begins with a familiar element." "Why would you write pretend-pretend-words about Twilight if you don't even want to use the same characters? Is it illegal to write pretend-words that are not based on Twilight?" "I don't understand," the alien says, a few hours later. You may just have to send the alien to the " Twilight: All Human" board on and let her figure it out for herself. And is she to assume that Christian Grey is still a vampire - he's just not making as big of a deal of it this time? Here's where you may hit a wall. Her first question is, naturally, why the characters have completely different names and appear to have little relation to each other. The alien reads very fast, because she has four brains and also 32 eyes. Then you make the alien read all of the Twilight books and all of Fifty Shades of Grey. It became so popular and made enough money that it had to be made into a movie so that it could keep making money." Some of the humans liked Twilight so much that they made their own pretend TwilightĬlearing your throat, you continue: "One of these pretend-pretend-words became very popular, even though it was not really a Twilight book. You pause, shrug, and pat the alien on her translucent skull. "Why would you write a pretend-words without the intention of making money?" "Did they make money off of it?" asks the alien, who is clearly a quick study. "So anyway, some of the humans liked Twilight so much that they made their own pretend-words about Twilight." "Yeah, but." you shrug, gesturing vaguely, indicating a line of inquiry that is of little real import. "Can movies be made without being books or comic books first?" They are kind of like promotions for books." "Oh, sorry, movies are a thing we humans make when books and comic books make lots of money, but not enough money.
![if you liked fifty shades of grey you ll like if you liked fifty shades of grey you ll like](https://static.onecms.io/wp-content/uploads/sites/6/2018/02/2475_d088_00024r-2000.jpg)
The alien tilts her head, her four brains pulsating furiously as she processes this.
![if you liked fifty shades of grey you ll like if you liked fifty shades of grey you ll like](https://media1.popsugar-assets.com/files/thumbor/ewLwvCESm1xPdsIQXgFv4QaUKqw/fit-in/1024x1024/filters:format_auto-!!-:strip_icc-!!-/2014/09/22/868/n/3019466/2441415e20fdaa9f_thumb_temp_image148769051411414724/i/Books-Like-Fifty-Shades-Grey.jpg)
There were four books, and they all got made into movies." Many humans liked this book - a book, you know, pretend-words.
![if you liked fifty shades of grey you ll like if you liked fifty shades of grey you ll like](https://imgix.bustle.com/rehost/2016/9/13/43210b7d-0037-4b35-8710-19e796343abe.png)
"Well you see, there was a book called Twilight. If aliens landed on Earth tomorrow and found America plastered with promotional materials for Fifty Shades of Grey, explaining it would be a pretty good exercise in examining how stories become sensations in 2015.